Page 91 - BMIN191 Beginnning Internship

The Life of Ministry 91

Relationships
Other relationships can be difficult for any marriage. Conflicts with in-laws,
former dating partners, friendships, and children from previous relationships
bring challenges to any marriage. For the minister’s marriage, these factors are
just as relevant.
A minister must guard the marriage against the inappropriate intrusion of
other relationships. The minister must place his or her marriage ahead of all other
relationships so as to strengthen the bond with his or her spouse. The minister
may face pressures from many directions, but must establish a clear sense that the
marriage relationship has the highest priority. As we mentioned in the section on
handling expectation, every sheep has an agenda that may very well include the
minister as friend, close neighbor, and so forth. And some of those relationships
are of great value to the minister. No matter how well meaning, all must take
a back seat to the priority of the marriage relationship and responsibilities.
Planning keeps the intrusions minimized.
19 How have you seen other Ministers can affirm this status in their own life through public teaching.
ministers affirm their spouses When they demonstrate the priority of marriage in public ways, they not only
in public settings? benefit the health of their marriage, but also provide an example for others
to follow. Of course, what they claim in public must be practiced in private.
Statements of priority that are untrue will be found out soon enough.
As stated previously, ministers must be careful how they allow emotional
attachments to build in other relationships. Though the minister’s life is filled
with people, none of those individuals should be given the best friend status
reserved for his spouse.

Finances
A minister must manage personal finances well. The apostle Paul affirms this
as a part of managing his household well and maintaining a good name in the
community. Financial management is also an indicator of integrity or wisdom.
Wrong dealings in money reveal a compromised heart. Unwise dealings may
indicate a similar lack of wisdom in other areas.
A minister must model the level of trust in God preached to others. A minister
who does not tithe has little justification for receiving an income from the tithes
of others. A minister and spouse must establish an effective strategy for managing
the resources God brings to them. Though the minister may not be adept at
handling money, he or she must be responsible enough to discover a way for
effective management of personal resources.
20 How is your work of Many homes are divided by the issue of money. Typically a minister will
ministry currently affecting face times when resources run short. How the minister responds in that time
your finances? speaks volumes about personal faith and the manner in which other types of
crises are handled. Ministers must not think they are treated unfairly when
they are paid what the church can afford. God is their Source, and God will
provide for those who serve Him.
Intimacy
The last issue that is frequently divisive in marriage is a lack of intimacy.
Perhaps more than the others, this issue threatens the homes of ministers. With
the overwhelming number of tasks and people issues that intrude into every
corner of a minister’s life, quality time for a spouse often seems out of reach. But
ministers must know that their marriages are no different than others. Intimacy
makes a marriage bond.