Page 93 - BMIN191 Beginnning Internship

The Life of Ministry 93

4.3.1 The ministry is a life of sacrifice for the parents, as they both either experienced
OBJECTIVE a call or one willingly commits to following the other in light of that call. Their
Interview two ministry children, however, were not a part of that decision. Even if they were included in the
families for their choice, the ramifications are larger and more burdensome than most can anticipate.
perspectives on life in the The Bible is filled with great leaders who seemed to have failed miserably as parents.
ministry. Consider David, Samuel, Eli, Aaron, Gideon, and many more who were successful in
their work of leadership, but paid a large price for it at home.
4.3.2
OBJECTIVE But ministers do not have to fail as parents. Some well-thought-out strategies
Identify and explain the and a loving heart can reap benefits for their children beyond what many
four essentials for keeping parents can imagine. A child growing up in the home of a minister can discover
children healthy in the numerous blessings. But each child or youth needs help finding them.
ministry.
The Challenge
4.3.3
OBJECTIVE Growing up in a minister’s home is a unique blend of possibilities and
Establish a relationship hazards. While a child in such settings often discovers varied and exciting people
of accountability with and experiences, he or she may also find significant difficulties. The minister
another ministry parent to must realize that the child faces a very different life than most other children, and
maintain these essentials. should be equipped for the difficulties ahead.
Need for Attention
Without question, the greatest peril of the minister’s child is the potential to
feel forgotten. When dad and mom are deeply involved in the needs of potentially
hundreds of people, a child can frequently be overlooked or get only what is left
of the parents’ attention—and usually that is not much.
Children require a considerable amount of positive attention in order to
grow in a healthy manner. They need consistent discipline, instruction, and
modeling that teach them how to make reasonable choices and how to follow
through with the behavior that the position of the family requires. This is hard. A
minister cannot afford to assume that his or her children will learn these things by
osmosis. Quality parenting requires intentional effort.
23 How can a minister Every child needs a healthy measure of attention, whatever the age or stage of
avoid failing to give his or her growth. For the minister’s child, attention is a special kind of need. Occasionally a
children needed attention? family will experience resistance or negative treatment by those they have been called
to serve. These times are difficult enough for the minister, mentally and emotionally.
His or her children have even less emotional equipment to help address these
confusing situations. The ministering parents must be aware of such moments of
special need for the children when difficulties of ministry intrude on the home.
24 Ask your mentor how he or Ministers often face transitions; therefore, such transition comes to the family.
she has provided the needed While a move can be exciting, it can also be disruptive for the child, for both
attention for his or her children younger and older children. Again, extra attention is needed for the emotional
through times of transition. well-being of the child. With all the busyness of transition and the numerous
relationships a minister must care for and build in such moments, a child can feel
left out. He or she needs the emotional support of the parents to move forward.
High Expectations
The expectations for a minister’s home are often unwritten and even
unspoken, and those placed upon the children are often learned in some pretty
unpleasant settings. Because a minister is highly visible in the place of spiritual
leadership, the children may find themselves in the spotlight too. As with the
minister’s spouse, the children can be held to unrealistic expectations.