Page 95 - BMIN191 Beginnning Internship

The Life of Ministry 95

people. Sadly, many people lack the spiritual maturity to see that need and
strengthen them with acceptance and understanding.
Inside Information
Another potential hazard is the information a minister’s child may possess
and not know how to process. Because of the parent’s place of leadership, the
minister’s child may be aware of people’s problems, issues of conflict, or times of
deep crisis. The minister should not assume that the child knows how to process
this kind of information.
If the ministerial dad is called to the hospital in the middle of dinner
because a congregational member is on his way to the emergency room, the
child needs more than “Sorry, I have to go.” He or she may be fearful of
what this crisis means and what mom or dad may face there. Ministers who
assume their children carry the same insight and understanding they possess
are teaching their children to accept hidden trauma. Over a period of time, a
minister’s family will face death and funerals far more than the average family.
The risk is that the minister’s child can grow up with more questions and fears
than answers and peace.
Of course, a minister cannot overlook one of the most serious hazards that
can come to the children: misunderstanding affronts to the spiritual leader—and
family. When people are in conflict or even attacking the minister and spouse,
perceptions form in the child’s mind that can be damaging. For the younger
children who are concrete thinkers, these offenders become the bad people,
instead of God’s sheep who are acting unwisely. In the child’s own immature
way, he or she may want to lash out or hurt those who have hurt the parents.
Parents in the ministry must foresee and plan for this type of reaction, for each
child’s healthy long-term development.

27 Why can having inside Ministers’ children are often the unseen wounded from church conflicts.
information be dangerous for They witness the trauma their parents face but are powerless to fix it. Such
a minister’s child? impotency can bring deep hurt and imprint the wrong idea of what happens
when one serves God.
The list of negative experiences can go on and on. But the wisdom and planned
intervention of parents in the ministry can guard the children from or guide the
children through each encounter with an outlook that gives glory and availability of
their lives to God and His service. Like all Christian parents, this is the prayer and
goal of parents in the ministry—a pleasant harvest in the years ahead.
Managing Attitudes
A minister must always guard his or her attitude when it comes to supporting
the children. Every situation brings the potential for selfishness or even
paranoia. When a minister’s attitude suffers, the family learns to surround this
spiritual leader and lend the necessary support until the storm passes. This same
consideration must be extended to the children. Developing a right attitude
demands help. The need is so constant, as children grow and adapt, that the
minister and spouse must see this same type of under-girding as one of their key
roles as parents. It is the only way the children will learn to respond to issues of
their constantly changing life and overcome the struggles.

No amount of effort will eliminate the potential hazards of ministry life. The
minister’s child will face the pressure of expectations no matter how loving a
congregation, and will encounter inside information no matter how carefully the
parents try to protect him or her. The answer is not in eliminating the threat of