Page 86 - BMIN191 Beginnning Internship

86 Beginning Ministerial Internship: Student Manual

trainer, event planner, and community representative. Often if something is to be
done, members believe that the minister ought to know how and when to do it.
11 How have the demands of Hence, it is understandable that the ministry holds a prominent place near the
ministry affected your marriage top of the list of most stressful occupations. The chief reason is the amount of
or dating relationship? time the ministry demands. The man or woman of God is never off-duty. He or
she is expected to be available all the time.
Such a scenario is why many spouses feel trapped by and resent the life of
ministry. Even if they have felt God’s call personally in their own lives, the price
they are paying seems unfair. When questioned, the minister’s only excuse may
be that this is the nature of ministry. This response, however, is not much help to
a lonely or frustrated spouse.
In the next section, we will consider the antidotes to these diseases, but we
must first diagnose them accurately. Treatment can only follow a firm diagnosis.
All We Ever Talk about Is the Church
The ministry not only demands much time but also requires a great deal
of mental energy. People’s problems, the latest discipleship strategy, and
the church’s financial woes can dominate every thought that surfaces in the
minister’s head. While many occupations make it difficult for an individual to
“leave it at the office,” the minister’s office follows him or her everywhere.
Much of the minister’s workload can be troubling, too. Trying to help another
couple with deep issues, guiding a family whose child has been abused, helping
someone conquer a life-destroying habit, walking a friend through the trauma of
death are just a few of the emotionally overwhelming realities a minister faces.
And these can all occur in the same week. Little wonder that some ministers have
trouble focusing on conversations about yard work or the kids’ grades.

12 How do you organize the When the minister’s spouse is deeply involved in the church as well, this
numerous tasks of ministry? increases the chance of church as the topic. Both individuals then lose the ability
to divert their interests to other things that touch their lives. God created us with
only so much capacity for communication, and when we become too focused on
one thing, everything else suffers.
A shepherd’s life is wrapped up in the church flock. And, that consuming
relationship can destroy communication in a marriage. Little wonder that many
ministry spouses feel the ministry has stolen their marriage and relegated them to a
distant backseat.
These People Are Wearing Me Out
People can be exhausting, particularly when one is engaged in their emotional
well-being. A salesperson deals with people only at the point of their consideration
to buy—and people can be hard to deal with in such settings. A teacher works with
pupils throughout the length of the day, but usually a bell signals the teacher’s
retreat to his or her personal life. A foreman can face numerous people disputes and
work through a bottle of antacids every week, but the whistle blows and rarely do
the employees want to hang around and talk. But in the minister’s work, though
people go home, they still reach out for help or validation.
Take time to interview a few ministers and you will discover they have
experienced everything from loading a moving truck to helping at a calf-pull.
Many people want the minister to be involved in every part of their lives and are
puzzled by the pastor’s exhaustion, since he or she only works one day a week!
The ministry also involves dealing with many people who have deep
difficulties. A minister can readily tell who holds the record for most phone calls